Roger Goodell Uses New Technology to Control Weather

(www.nj.com )- Gov. Chris Christie has declared a state of emergency due to Winter Storm Maximus.

Some New Jersey schools are canceling classes as another blast of winter weather is heading to New Jersey a day after temperatures got into the 50s. The National Weather Service says much of the state is in line for 4 to 8 inches of snow falling throughout the day Monday. The highest amounts are expected to be across the middle of the state with less in the northernmost and southernmost counties. By rush-hour Monday, the snow was falling in many areas, including the New Jersey suburbs of both Philadelphia and New York City. It's expected to keep coming down until late afternoon or early evening. Another winter storm is expected to hit New Jersey Tuesday and Wednesday.

It's 41 degrees and snowing right now.  Could have sworn it had to have been at least 32 +/- 3 degrees to be snowing.  I've heard about a downed tree per hour.  Have you ever heard/seen a tree near your property go down?  Scary shit.  I mean--you hear a loud crack in the woods and glance out the window and pray it doesn't fall on anything.  Even the plow truck got stuck at the end of my street.  It may only be eight inches, but it's thick and wet as fuck (aha, see what I did there?).  So it's not just 4-8 inches in the street and sidewalks.  It's 4-8 inches on power lines, tree branches, bicycles, walruses, etc.  All this leads me to believe is that Roger Goodell controlled the weather for the Super Bowl and now Mother Nature is retaliating.

On Friday, I think the Super Bowl forecast was 39 degrees.  No precipitation in the near future.  Fast forward to Sunday and it's 55 degrees during the day.  What the fuck?  I'm cool with all the snow disappearing.  So I check the forecast for Monday once the Seahawks are up 30 and they're calling for 4-8 inches in 41 degree weather.  So I'm thinking...no way is that an accurate prediction.  They were right, and now they're calling for another 41 degree snowstorm Tuesday with up to 10".  This is like Snowmageddon shit.  At least in snowy regions of the country they can prepare for this shit.  You know...when 6-12" of powder/week is like clockwork.  The plowers are full-time employees there.  401K benefits.  Medical/dental.  But here in New Jersey, I'm sure half of the plowers are contract or freelance because the weather is so spontaneous.  So everyone just says fuck it once it's 55 degrees on Super Bowl Sunday and gets bombed thinking there's no way it will snow. 

I just can't wait for the snow to go away.  A warm May is key to hitting the shore before guidos invade.  Let's keep the fingers crossed.