Flappy Bird

I'm sure most of you have heard about the new app called "Flappy Bird". If you haven't, good. Stay as far away from this addicting disaster as you can. 

It's like rooting for the Browns. You think you have a chance at  the beginning but every loss is like an immediate cockpunch and you know you aren't going to get any better.

The gist of the game is that you are a weird circular bird with fish lips that has to fly through the spaces between stalactite and stalagmite Super Mario tubes without hitting anything. Each successful pass counts as one point, and you add up the score until you hit something. A high score your first couple of days should be a single digit number.

Now, I have heard rumors that the Android version is a lot easier than the iPhone version. That being said if you still have an Android, you are poor and you should maybe decide to join the 21st century.

Friend-ly Tips:

1.) I'm a nice guy so I'll help you out... make sure you put your phone in airplane mode to prohibit the ads from lagging your gameplay. It will save you a lot of money on costly cellphone repairs.

2.) I have developed a strategy where I play once a day, only stopping when I beat my high score. If you do this, you will develop better sleeping habits and also save yourself a lot of money on costly phone repairs.

3.) NEVER LOOK AT THE SCORE WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING. That's the number one way to die and then smash your phone/head off a wall. This results in costly phone repairs/trip to the hospital.

4.) Do not post your high score on social media or everyone will think you are a douche. Unless you get a really low score, then everyone will think you are mentally retarded.

5.) Here's my high score: 

6.) I'm a douche.

That's all the time I have for Flappy Bird. Probably gonna delete it once some Asian 5 year old posts a viral video of him getting a score of 5 million.