Real Life Castaway Slowly Dying in Mexico

Majuro, Marshall Islands (CNN) -- After showing signs of improvement, Jose Salvador Alvarenga's health has deteriorated. Alvarenga, who said he was lost at sea for 13 months, returned to a hospital Thursday to be intravenously fed, said Christian Clay-Mendoza, a top Mexican trade official.
"Doctors say he's severely dehydrated and low on vitamins and minerals," he said. Alvarenga, an El Salvadoran who had been living in Mexico, washed ashore on the Marshall Islands eight days ago. Earlier this week, his condition improved enough that he was released from a hospital. Doctors said Alvarenga's limbs have started to swell, and they can't seem to keep him hydrated. But he did manage to leave the hospital briefly Thursday to make a few comments to the media.

Mexico better keep this guy alive. It's bad enough he washed up on the shores of the Marshall Islands after 13 months. I had to google the Marshall Islands to see where they were in relation to Mexico...

HOLY SHIT that's near Australia! This guy bobbed around the Pacific eating God knows what and still is gonna die because the Mexican doctors don't know what to do. Bring him to MGH or Brigham and Womens and they'll patch him up in like 20 minutes. Probably stick an IV in his arm and give him a Big Mac and send him on his way.

I would survive approximately three hours without Netflix or the Internet so big props to Mr. Alvarenga for living thirteen months. Only way he could've survived is with a RumHam.

GALLS THOUGHTS

Ever missed an exit on the Mass Pike? You're like fuck! God dammit that's going to add 20 miles onto my trip just to get back to this exit. That's exactly how this guys felt (times 1 million) when he missed Hawaii. Like, what the hell is after Hawaii? Ocean, that's what. Must have been so mad at himself, cursing out the Rum Ham that told him to stay left at the split.