Fuck It, It's Friday

The finger is the weekend.  I'm the cat.  It's that 3 o' clock Friday feeling.

A Million Ways To Die In The West

Seth McFarlane is back! This movie looks amazing and I can't wait to see it. Big Bird...tomorrow I need Charlize Theron as the blonde feature.

This is one mean "O Face":

Blue Jays Hoping To Install Grass Instead of Turf By 2018

Toronto Blue Jays Hoping To Install Real Grass In Rogers Centre By 2018 

TORONTO-Ricky Doyle

The Toronto Blue Jays might soon say goodbye to Rogers Centre’s artificial surface. Blue Jays president Paul Beeston said Wednesday at a State of the Franchise event that the team hopes to replace the stadium’s artificial surface with natural grass by 2018. The Blue Jays moved into Rogers Centre — then known as the SkyDome — in June 1989, and since have played on AstroTurf, FieldTurf and Grass3D amid the evolution of artificial surfaces. It was announced back in September that the Toronto Argonauts of the Canadian Football League would not have their lease at Rogers Centre renewed beyond the 2017 season, hence Beeston’s four-year plan for natural grass. Perhaps the Blue Jays will play on natural grass sooner if the Argonauts exit Rogers Centre before their lease runs. Toronto doesn’t exactly have the perfect baseball climate, but a switch to natural grass shouldn’t be much of a problem. Rogers Centre has a retractable roof that should allow for the necessary sunlight, and surely, the Jays will look into such things before making dramatic changes.

Finally Toronto!!!

You finally realized that Turf and baseball are like two dicks and no bitch and you could wind up in some serious shit. Every game I've ever seen on TV played at Rogers Centre involved a ground ball that bounced about 300 feet into the air or a liner that skipped off the turf and almost decapitated someone. Play on grass you morons!!!!!

A part of me wants to think Rob Ford had something to do with this.

These Morphed Celebrity Faces Kill Me

Happened upon this article today at work. Had to pull The Laugh/Cough out a few times if you know what I mean. It's cheap humor but I don't give a shit. Here are some of my favorites:

Now Rex likes guys feet too...

Gotta do this one in honor of the Biebs just fucking shit up wherever he goes now. I wonder what the personality would be like if Burt and Bieber became one person. I imagine there would be zero fucks given at any time.

They were still able to get some red on that forehead.

 These two are definitely the best ones.

For the full article go to: http://elitedaily.com/humor/celebrities-face-morphed-best-thing-youll-see-internet-today/.

Woman Hits a Guy With Her Car: Says She Panicked

Driver With Man on Windshield Says She Panicked
LOS ANGELES - LINDA DEUTSCH-AP Special Correspondent

A woman who drove 2 miles through a Los Angeles suburb with a dying man on her windshield says she can't remember hitting him. Sherry Lynn Wilkins testified Wednesday that he seemed to fly onto her car in the 2012 incident in Torrance, but the events were a surreal blur. Prosecutors say 31-year-old Phillip Moreno was struck so hard that he flipped onto Wilkins' car and punched a hole in the windshield. "It was a flash, "Wilkins said. "I pretty much felt him landing on my window. To me, it felt like he came from the sky." Asked by her attorney how she felt in that moment, she said, "Very confused, like it wasn't real. It took me a while to figure out there was a body on the windshield." "I didn't feel like I had hit him with my car," she said. "I felt like he fell into my windshield from up high." Wilkins said she panicked and kept driving until other motorists told her to pull over. "I was very scared," she said. "I kind of froze." Wilkins, a former addict who became a drug and alcohol counselor, wept and said she'd been drinking that night but wasn't drunk. She said she had been "self-medicating" while waiting for knee-replacement surgery and had consumed three airplane-size bottles of vodka and a can of Budweiser beer and Clamato before starting to drive.
Prosecutors say her blood-alcohol level was nearly twice the legal limit. Under questioning by her lawyer, Nan Whitfield, the 52-year-old defendant told jurors her story of addiction, which began when she was in a car accident at the age of 15 and suffered a broken back and shattered bones in her ankles and legs. Wilkins said she became addicted to pain killers and then heroin.

"When did you begin to use heroin?" asked Whitfield.
"When it became cheaper than going to the doctor," she said.

Well, I think the argument is officially over. Women not only suck at driving, they also suck at realizing there's a dead man through your windshield. Guess when your blood alcohol level is twice the legal limit and you're really craving some heroin the only logical thing to do is drive straight into a guy and keep on driving till someone tells you to pull over.

The quotes this lady gives are pure gold.

"I didn't feel like I had hit him with my car. I felt like he fell into my windshield from up high"

Holy shit lady, you are a crackhead to the nth degree. Men falling from the heavens straight into your windshield. I hope prison sobers you up/has a drivers ed program. Red Asphalt IV should be shown on a loop in her cell.

Q: What kind of drunk drinks three airplane bottles of vodka, a single can of Bud, and Clamato in the same sitting?

A: Drunks that run people over and don't care.

Who's Hungry For Some Sausage?

The home stretch for the FriendTopia Playoff Challenge is approaching. The real question is, is Kenneth G ready to take down some good ole' Jimmy Dean Sausage?

Pube - Galls
Skeeterson - Big D
Retarded - Kenneth G
Chubbs - Friend

I can almost taste victory, or maybe that's my stomach getting queasier thinking about actually eating those breakfast sandwiches... Motion to vote that we just force the Big Gay Bird to do the Banana Eating Challenge because he didn't even make a team for this. As far as I'm concerned he has 0 PoIntS right now. All in favor?

Tits for the Boys

Happy Wednesday to everyone out there today. As blonde week continues on I would like to wish everyone a happy hump day.

Holy honkers. This lovely lady is british actress and lingerie model, Gemma Atkinson. I have never heard of nor seen this girl in my life and that is truly a shame. Seeing as she is a lingerie model I expect to find some rather beautiful images of this specimen. Apparently Cristiano Ronaldo used to date her, so she likes soccer guys. Which, of course means she likes big dicks.

Well, picture of course I want her, every man on earth wants her. What are you stupid?

Oh, what I would give to be just one pebble, one grain of sand on these magnificent boobs. 

I've always like belly button rings on a girl, don't really know what it is about them. 

Not a huge fan of short hair, but I honestly didn't her hair was short until right now.

The see through shirts are tough for me, they border the line of SFW and NSFW but fuck it. 

And boom, ass shot. I hope everyone enjoyed "reading"!

Mary Jane Billboards To Be Put Up Everywhere In NJ for Super Bowl

Pro-Marijuana Billboards To Surround MetLife Stadium For Super Bowl (Photos) 
-Alison Smith on Wed, Jan 29, 2014 at 9:36AM 

A case has been made in the NFL for the use of medical marijuana by players, and commissioner Roger Goodell said he would consider allowing the use if it’s shown to help concussions. What hasn’t been discussed, though, is the the recreational use of marijuana by players, and the D.C.-based Marijuana Policy Project thought that Super Bowl weekend would be the perfect time to get its message across about the “hypocrisy of the National Football League’s marijuana policy.” The organization has paid for five billboards in locations surrounding MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J., each with a message about marijuana and the league’s policy. “Hopefully it’s going to inspire people to talk to one another about marijuana and particularly its relative harms compared to alcohol and football,” director of communications at the Marijuana Policy Project, Mason Tvert said, via For the Win. This isn’t the first time the organization has taken shots at the NFL over its policy, either. In September, the MPP posted a billboard outside of Denver’s Sports Authority Field at Mile High Stadium telling the league to “Stop Driving Players to Drink,” and advised: “A safer choice is now legal here.” “I think a lot of people will be shocked at just how many people are getting in trouble for using a less harmful substance than alcohol,” Tvert said. “When you’re sitting in a full stadium and you think about the idea of everyone in there being arrested 10 times over, it really gets you thinking about just how many people that is.” Tvert said on Wednesday he will head to Goodell’s office and drop off a copy of a change.org petition calling on the NFL to stop punishing players for using marijuana. The petition had more than 12,000 signatures as of Wednesday morning.


Yippee Ki Yay, motherhumpers...Pot is taking over the Super "Bowl". This is an unbelievable moment in the recent legalization movement. Not only are the two states that legalized pot playing each other in a bowl, but now the Marijuana Policy Project raised enough money for these kinda hilarious billboards.

It's actually astounding that they even got motivated enough to actually pull the trigger on this. Stoners usually just say they're gonna do something and end up napping on a couch. Kinda what I envision the MPP HeadQuarters to look like.

Check out more billboards:

Barstool Banana Eating Challenge

Almost popped a rib watching this. I don't know why it's so funny but it is. Holy shit.

New Music: Kacey Musgraves

Here's Kacey Musgraves: A two time Grammy winner who is conveniently only 25 years old. She's from Golden, Texas, which seems like a made up place, but apparently produces smokes that play the guitar and sing like angels. Her biggest hit is "Follow Your Arrow" which is about expressing yourself and smoking pot.

Saying all the right things Kacey.

A quick inside look at my cube right at this moment:

Tits for the Boys

Happy Tuesday to you all. Let us continue blonde week here at FriendTopia.

This beautiful girl is Victoria Secret and Sport Illustrated model Heidi Klum. Models are the best for these posts because they have so many great pictures out there. Remember guys she wouldn't take these pictures if she didn't want you looking at them.

Heidi doesn't have the largest boobs in the game but thats not what this is all about. This is about hunting down all types of beautiful women with all different body types. She is, much like Brooklyn from yesterday, a stunning skinny blonde model. But when you are on the hunt for blondes 8 out of 9 times this is what you will find.

One thing that Sports Illustrated has done that I haven't seen anywhere else are these body paint photos. This here is a great idea, everything is covered as it would be for the swimsuit photo shoot except you can still see the natural figure of the ladies. Well done SI well done.

I know she doesn't look like a blonde in these photos but they were taken back in 1999 so who knows what was going on then. 

Wow this woman is truly a treat to take a gander at.

She will even tweet out her sand cheeks for us all to enjoy! Heidi thank you for everything you do.

Oreo Twitter Handle Makes a Small Slipup

But Oreo's are two-thirds black so it's not racist!

Missed Connections Monday!

you flashed side boob at Jason's Deli - m4w (Jason's Deli (San Pedro & 410))

it was Friday night about 7:30 when you walked into the Jason's Deli on San Pedro and 410. I wasn't really paying attention, but you were with another woman, you had blonde hair and were a little overdressed (but not for long) for eating at J.D. You had on a nice off the shoulder dress, black and white, and heels on. You were re-arranging your "stuff" so that it wouldn't fall out of your dress when I caught a glimpse of side boob. NICE! You only flashed your left boobie for a split second, but that was enough. Your right boobie is probably jealous that she didn't get the same exposure. If you would like to make it right, let me know. There's nothing worse than boobie envy.

If not, that's ok too. Thanks for the side boob peep show. And for reminding me that I was out of milk and had to stop at HEB on the way home.

This man is playing his cards perfectly in hopes of attracting this woman. Pays complete attention to everything about the woman. Her hair, her clothes, shoes, and friends. It's exactly what women want in a man, somebody who will notice all of the little details about her. I'm sure that this guy wouldn't remember anything about her had he not seen a bit of a slipup, but hey, sometimes you get lucky.

Also, nothing worse than boobie envy. It's like blue balls for women. Except it's less painful. And its made up. 

Tits for the Boys

Good morning everyone. One of my greatest weaknesses are blondes. I can't really explain it but I am much more attracted to blondes in general. So this week will be dedicated to bondes.

This lovely lady is Brooklyn Decker. She is a model and actress but that doesn't really matter. What does matter are those lovely breasts attached to that amazing body of hers.

Just flaunting the side boob here. When blogging about boobs I like to have a little fun with the search to provide every angle of view out there.

What an absolute beautiful woman. Is there anything more sexy than the hand bra?* She may have just moved into the spot as my favorite model. 

There are many things on this earth that can do serious damage to boobs; babies, cancer, car acciedents, ect... But one of the major killers of great boobs is gravity. Some day if nothing else gravity will take these titties down too. Although, as seen above gravity can do some wonders during a photoshoot. 

Holy moly. This girl screams seduction. What would you give up to have one night with her?**

It does not matter what this girl is wearing she is a 10 out of 10 every way you look at her. 

Well well well, this right here is the pose for me. Showing off all of her curves.

Pure beauty here Brooklyn. You are one of a kind girl. 

I just couldn't pass up a little see through nip action. 

Not the best ass in the game but it complements the rest of her body wonderfully. I like closing out a nice boobs post with an ass shot. I think I am going to do this from now on.

*No! No there is not.

**You all have met our buddy Fitzy from Friend's "Fitzy Friday" posts. For one night with her I would give him my car.