Delta Gamma Recruitment Video

This was posted on Barstool earlier today, but I need to put my two cents in.

First things first, I am a colossal moron for going to an engineering school with three sororities. I literally wake up every morning and ask myself what the hell my thought process was in high school. This Ohio State Delta Gamma video is basically salt in the wound.

BREAKDOWN:

Girl walks up to her sorority door and the door knocker is a fucking anchor. My fraternity house had a nautical theme where all the rooms were named after parts of a ship (Mainbrace, Poopdeck, Crow's Nest, etc...) but this is so next level it makes us look like pussies. If I'm a girl at OSU I'm already hooked.

"Oh you thought the anchors on the door were cool and cute, well check out this real Gold painted anchor on our lawn." Only one word comes to mind: Rich. Who doesn't want to be rich? The business model of this sorority is spot on.

The inside of this house is pristine. No visible trash or punched out holes in the wall which already makes it nicer than every frat/sorority house I've ever stepped foot in. Must have had some frat boys come over to clean and gave them all free back rub* coupons. 

Then all of a sudden: BOOM. Girls tanning. All these girls are good looking which is a trick because it is in a girls nature to hang out with uglier chicks to make themselves look better. That's a fact, I don't want to hear any rebuttals because they're lies. Porches are perfect drinking spots, but when they're combined with beautiful college girls tanning, it's basically heaven on Earth. Well done Gamma Delta.

After a weird sports themed dance off in the street, the girls then all do their makeup and try on sexy dresses for a photo shoot. I am thoroughly confused as to how a bunch of girls doing makeup attract girls to join a sorority. The only comparison I could draw is the couple of hours before a fraternity party when the bathrooms are crammed full of guys shitting, shaving, and showering. Not a pretty sight, or a particularly good smell. The girl in the blue can get it though.

So there you have it: Rush Delta Gamma at OSU or you suck.

*Back Rub=Sex