A: Hipsters.
Now you're probably thinking, "Hey, what about cancer or the dentist?" It's really not even close. The bane of my existence is 110% bearded, pierced and judgmental hipsters. If there was a great purge where we sent all the hipsters to an island like a leper colony, the US would see a massive boost in morale and probably in life expectancy. Countries around the world would fear us more than they already do and you can bet your ass PBR would run out of business.
Q: Did I just fix America?
A: Yes.
As I was perusing through the internet, I stumbled upon this article on Kissing Suzy Kolber, which asks, "What if the NFL logos were Hipsters?" The result was hilarious and spot on. Just take a look at the redesigned Patriots logo:
I could just hear the indie rock from his headphones from here. Here are some other ones but for the full list, click on the link above from Kissing Suzy Kolber.
I wanna beat the shit out of the Jaguars so bad. Twist of Fate followed by a Swanton Bomb. End of fight.
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