Thanksgiving Week Bender

So it is almost upon us, the annual post-high school grad bender that everyone sort of looks forward to. If you are still in school, its a great time catching up with your bros that go to schools miles away at a Townie bar or just nap all weekend on the couch and watch football. As a working man, it becomes going to your 5 year reunion and seeing people you have no desire seeing. Of these people, you have the following undesirables:

Pregnant/Momma friends:

Listen, I care less about your baby than I care about you, which is less than I care about practically anything.

Fat Friends that were once skinny:

Hey, have you lost weight since high school? No? Oops. Well let me buy you a shot so that maybe you can puke up the three Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers you just ate in the parking lot.

Skinny friends that were once fat:

Fuck these people. But what's your secret?

Married/Engaged couples:

Yawn...See what I said about the Pregnant ladies, and apply it tenfold.

Townies:

Actually make me feel pretty good about myself. But I am keeping my distance for sure, just in case they wanna quiz me on town history or demand answers as to why I wrote this blog.