Fargo Man Chooses to Clean His Driveway with a Flamethrower Over a Shovel

Fargo, ND – Local resident Todd Fox has been detained for “reckless endangerment” and “illegal use of high-powered fire-breathing weaponry” for attacking snow with his flamethrower. Fox reportedly became so fed up with the week-long blowing snow epidemic in his area that he decided to KILL IT WITH FIRE.
The neighborhood was treated with quite a show last night as Fox unleashed an inferno upon the mountainous snow palace that was his front yard. Neighbors to his immediate right and left noticed a bright orange cloud and could hear what they thought was “puff the magic dragon spewing mayhem all over hell,” which prompted one of them to notify police.
Fox stated that he was simply “fed up with battling the elements” and that he did not possess the willpower necessary to move “four billion tons of white bull shit.”
Police say that Fox surrendered his efforts immediately upon their arrival and that his front yard “looked like a hydrogen bomb had gone off.” They think he was just happy to be done with snow removal, even if it did mean a trip to jail.

Snow, you've finally met your match. Can't believe I had never thought of it before. First there was the shovel. Then the plow. And then snowblowers. What else is next in that progression...obviously flamethrowers. You don't even need to get decked out in winter clothing while out there cleaning the driveway since you're using "high-powered fire-breathing weaponry" which sounds like it will keep you and your entire neighborhood warm. You can roll out of bed in your underwear, strap on your flamethrower and clear out a couple hundred feet of driveway a second.