Every Adriana Lima World Cup Commercial Is An A+

I get tingly every time I even see her picture. All the men in the ads make the same facial expression that you make when you watch this piece of art.

Adriana Lima is my number 1. No if's, and's, or but's (Butts are a yes tho) about it.

Mike Napoli Absolutely Boom Roasted Some Troll on Twitter Last Night

Mix in a salad and grow a beard RT @StatFreak101: @B_Dufek_92 Both teams still suck ass. And @MikeNapoli25 is a total queer douche.
— Mike Napoli (@MikeNapoli25) June 18, 2014

BOOM. ROASTED.

By the way, this is what the troll looks like:

Compare that to:

UPDATE: StatFreak101 serving up Boston. Sick Legit.

LOL. Mike Napoli tweeting at me. Getting all the responses I figured from douchey people like Red Sox fans. #suckonsomechowdah
— Erik Thompson (@StatFreak101) June 18, 2014

Jayson Werth Had The Coolest Stolen Base Ever

Gonna tell ya I didn't see that coming. The old jump step with the gymnastic finish to get a 10 from the judges and a stolen base. The catcher looked absolutely emasculated. Perfect throw, perfect catch, and then, POOF, Jayson Werth disappears and reappears.

Quick note: Jayson Werth has to smell like poop right? Like in U12 soccer when you play against a fat kid that smells like a pile of manure because his mom doesn't make him shower. That could've also helped him avoid the tag.

I think he heard me.

Colombian Girls Will Make Your Day Better

Colombia plays the Ivory Coast at 12. I'm sure you'll all root for the right team here.

New Music: We Wont Go Home (Jane Doze Remix) - The Colourist

Another fire remix from these ladies. Listen above and go to their Soundcloud for other recent releases. In other news, Boston's EDM station 101.7 was replaced by a country station the other day. Things get weird when you tune to 101.7 expecting to hear some Avicii or something and Blake Shelton is blaring. Thought it was the drugs but apparently its real. Someone else confirm so I know I'm not insane.

OK Go's New Music Video Made Me Nauseous and Blew My Mind

I'm sitting here at my desk sweating and trying not to puke after watching this. Apparently, this was done in one take or something, but I doubt it. This looks about as complicated as solving a Rubik's cube blindfolded. All in all, it's a pretty creative video but since it doesn't have any boobs in it, I give it a 0/10.

New McDonald's World Cup Commercial Has A Certified 10 In It

Found my soulmate guys: 

I saw her first so back off. I will do more independent research later and come back with her name, address, phone number, and DOB. But for now, just keep staring at this photo and figure out how a girl in heels can play soccer better than all of the United States.

Researched it: Fiorella Castillo. God I'm good.

This Vine Will Give Jets Fans Nightmares

OMG OMG OMG OMG.

I officially have a huge hard on and the only prescription is Sunday night football!

How sad are all Jets fans right now? First, they get rid of their best QB in years (Mark Sanchez) and now they basically have zero WR that can line up against Revis. Fireman Ed is crying in a bathroom somewhere hugging a picture of Joe Namath.

Dumb and Dumber To Trailer

Harry and Lloyd are back at it! The full trailer premiered on Jimmy Fallon last night, and it actually looks pretty alright. The gags should still be hilarious when they are strung in order, and it looks like a similar soundtrack is gonna be used.

Based on the success of this movie, Sandler should consider revisiting the old classics. Even if Happy Gilmore 2 sucks, I'd still pay the money to go see it. Really doesn't break the mold of what Sandler is doing now. And have you seen Virginia Venit recently on Modern Family? Holy mackerel, that'll put some lead in your pencil.

I see nippppleeeessssss!

NHL 15 Official Gameplay Trailer Looks Incredible

Two Youtube videos as blogs is a slow start for me, but its Monday and I slammed my blogging thumb in my car door this morning. On the bright side, this game looks incredible. TD Garden looks so real that I bet they even included the African guys outside playing the buckets and pans.

The Cover Vote is decided on June 27th I think, and as a reminder it's between Patrice Bergeron and this pussy on the Canadiens:

Makes my blood boil.

The Return of BaneCat

The music is so great.

"It would be extremely painful. For youuuuu"

Link to the first one.

Mexican Soccer Coach Takes a Pic With Tom Brady

El me pidió una foto no se quien es, ni si a ganado algo, pero le hice el día al chavo 😄😄😜😜😂😂 pic.twitter.com/jTr7z8QhUH
— Miguel Herrera (@MiguelHerreraDT) June 5, 2014

Translated: "I don't know who he is but he asked me for a photo. I don't know if I won something, but I think I may the kid's day."

Take it easy Mexican coach. Patriots don't need your sarcasm, banning of sex, or mushing abilities.

Incredible to believe how short Mexicans are. Not being racist, I checked the facts (Wikipedia). The average height for a Mexican male is 5'7". Compare that to the US (5'10") and England (5'9"). You could be in the center of Mexico City and, based on these figures, be able to see over everyone.

DDay - 70 Years Later

Normandy, France (CNN) -- Jim "Pee Wee" Martin acted like he'd been here before, like jumping from a plane is as easy as falling off a log. Maybe that's because he had -- 70 years ago.

"I'm feeling fine," Martin told reporters moments after landing in a French field. "... It was wonderful, absolutely wonderful."

Martin was part of the U.S. 101st Airborne Division that parachuted down over Utah Beach in their bid to retake France and, eventually, the rest of Europe from Nazi Germany. They actually touched down in enemy-controlled territory a night before what's referred to as D-Day.

His jump Thursday in the same area was different and -- despite his being 93 years old now -- a whole lot easier.

"It didn't (compare)," Martin said, "because there wasn't anybody shooting at me today."

Every year, every day it seems, the number of surviving World War II veterans like Martin dwindles. He estimates there are only a few dozen members of his unit who took part in the now historic D-Day invasion who are still around.

Photos: The Allied invasion of Normandy

Take a moment to remember and be grateful for all the troops that were dropped onto the beaches of Normandy only to find barbed wire, mines, and thousands of Germans firing machine gun bullets at them. June 6th, 1944 is a day that many can say changed the face of the second World War and proved that the Allies were a force to be reckoned with.

Today, there are a very small amount of men left that participated in the Second Great War, but heroes like Pee Wee Martin are still here to tell the tales. The quote highlighted in bold in the above article really brings home the experience that he had. When asked about recreating the DDay jump, Martin said, "It didn't (compare)," Martin said, "because there wasn't anybody shooting at me today." It was bad enough that he had to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, but he had to jump into a sea of anti aircraft shells and machine gun fire.

Much respect is given to these troops. God Bless America.

John Mayer Loves it When His Exes Write Songs About Him

I told you he was a great pick in the $25 Rock Band game. Doesn't care that his exes write mean songs about him. Doesn't care that everyone thinks he's a homewrecker. He just keeps on plowing through.

So jealous of Johnny boy. He's great at guitar, has a bunch of Grammy's, and he got a piece of skinny Jessica Simpson. This Jessica Simpson:

Not the other one that will never be on this site.

Sidebar: TMZ knows how to make any situation instantly uncomfortable. Getting interviewed in the street walking by seven cameras must feel exactly like going to the dentist. I give celebs that don't knock out paparazzi a lot of credit.

Second sidebar: I can't stop staring at that GIF I posted. Holy moly.

University of Delaware Bro's Reenact Sorority Bid Day and It's Spot On

Everything about this is perfect. The arts and crafts, the beads, the shirts. Great attention to detail. So much crying and hugging and endless selfies. Literally seems like a day in hell. 

Imagine being this genuinely fake for a whole day.  Frat bros aren't fake about liking pledges. They actually did shit for us. And no, it didn't include making us baked goods or painted tee shirts. And Bid night as a frat bro is the biggest blur of all time. First it's morning and you start drinking early and then BOOM...you wake up in a beer soaked sleeveless tee and a hard hat.

UD frat bros, well done.

"Welcome 2 the good life"

Pick Your 5 Piece Rock Band Is Too Easy

Lead Guitar: Duane Allman

Duane Allman: Best $6.00 I ever spent. Died at age 24 and was ranked #2 Best Guitarist of all time by Rolling Stone (ever heard of it?). You may have heard him on Layla by Derek and Dominos, or with the Allman Bros ripping up the slide guitar like no one else could.

Rhythm Guitar: John Mayer

No brainer here. You're gonna take Johnny here for rhythm at $7. Imagine the solo duels he could've had with Duane Allman? And the sex appeal of this band would be through the roof. Look at the mutton chops of Duane and pair it with Mayer and you got groupies lining up days before a concert. Oh and John's not too shabby at the guitar either.

Bassist: Flea

Remember that sex appeal talk we just had? Multiply it by infinity because I brought in Flea at a bargain price of $4. An absolutely wild bassist like Flea can keep the energy going throughout the show. Not to mention he's considered as the second best bassist of all time by, guess who, the Rolling Stone. Here's proof, as if you needed any.

Drummer: Carter Beauford

Carter is worth every penny of the $7. In my head, he's the best drummer in the game. I'm clearly biased as a big DMB fan, but anyone who isn't a fan of DMB will tell you that he's by far the best musician in the band. Check this GoPro video out of his POV playing the drums.

Frontman: Jim Morrison

I cheaped out on the frontman for a dollar, frankly because the rest of the band could play instrumentals all night and be worth the price of admission. Jim Morrison is the face of the band, and it would be impossible to pick a better face. Jim Morrison WAS the personification of Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. Mayer and Morrison would leave about 50 girls preggers after each show they did.

I'd pay about a million dollars to see this band play for 10 minutes.

Guy Walks Into Cleveland Brown's Training Camp Hoping to Tryout

NESN - BEREA, Ohio — A former high school player from New Mexico wandered onto the Cleveland Browns’ practice field hoping to get a tryout. The unidentified man walked onto the field at the team’s training headquarters on Tuesday with an equipment bag strapped to his back as the Browns worked out. A team spokesman said the man was quickly spotted and escorted from the field through the media gate without incident. The team believes the man, who appeared to be in his mid-20s, entered the field after walking through the team’s indoor field house. A member of the team’s media relations staff and a security staffer talked with the man, who told them he came to Cleveland hoping to get a shot with the NFL team. The spokesman said the man did not pose a threat to any of the coaches or players.


Just when you thought it couldn't get sadder in Cleveland, the Browns turn away a potential star at their practice field. Actually, I have no idea whether it was a guy like Radio or more like Mark Wahlberg in the Eagles movie (Invincible?). Either way, this random guy must have been better than Greg Little and showed a lot of balls coming out to Ohio just to tryout for the Browns.

Browns PR should've turned this into a feel good story, but instead fucked it up per usual. Imagine how people's perceptions of the organization would've changed if they let this kid try out for a week. Who knows what this kid could've done?

On an unrelated note: Johnny Football is throwing the first pitch at the Sox v. Tribe game tonight. If he doesn't throw a two seam over the outside of the plate, then I don't know shit about him.


P.S. "Cleveland: We're Not Detroit" is the best tourism slogan I've ever heard.

Brandon Workman Suspended for Throwing at Longoria....And What About Price?

Absolute bullshit. If you watched any of the Rays v. Sox game that resulted in the clearing of the benches, you would know that all of that started with David Price hitting David Ortiz. He hit David Ortiz, not because of the argument over the stolen third base in the away game in Tampa, but because of the way Papi would "pimp" his homeruns in the 2013 playoffs. David Price was carrying over a grudge from LAST season. Btw, David Price is 1-4 in postseason appearances, with the only win coming in a relief appearance, not a start. AKA he's garbage. And another btw, David Ortiz can pimp any homerun he fuckin' wants: he's a legend of the game.

So naturally the MLB takes the easy way out of this situation and suspends a second year pitcher, instead of Tampa's "ace" for throwing at Evan Longoria. The Sox, without question, got a raw deal here. There is no reason why the man who instigated all of this and is known to throw at Red Sox batters got off without even a fine.

Fuck you MLB and fuck you David Price. Good luck winning your first world series.


P.S. As far as I'm concerned, the Red Sox biggest rival nowadays isn't the Yankees. It's the Rays. If you believe otherwise then you're stuck in the last decade.

P.P.S. Completely forgot that Price also hit Mike Carp in that game. TWO hit batters and doesn't even get a game suspension.

Dan Marino Sues the NFL Over Concussions. Just Kidding, He Didn't Mean It.

NESN -  Dan Marino made headlines on Monday when it was revealed that he was one of 14 former NFL players to file a lawsuit against the league over concussion-related issues. It turns out that Marino’s actions may have been a bit premature, as the Hall of Fame quarterback quickly backtracked from his actions on Tuesday. According to a source, Marino filed the suit by accident and plans to withdraw the lawsuit that was filed with the U.S. District Court in Philadelphia last week. “It was never Marino’s intention to initiate litigation in this case, but to ensure that in the event he had adverse health consequences down the road, he would be covered with health benefits,” the source told the Sun-Sentinel. “They are working to correct the error.”

This is so wacky that it has to be concussion related. You don't file a lawsuit by accident. I'm pretty sure you have to go to an attorney's office and explain to him that you want to file a lawsuit. I see a couple of scenarios here:

Scenario number 1: "Laces Out" Dan blacked out from post concussion syndrome and wrote his own lawsuit and mailed it in to Roger. When he awoke from his blacked out state, someone told him what he did and he immediately retracted the statement. 

Scenario number 2: He actually did file the statement, fully knowing what he was doing and Roger mailed him a fat check to keep him quiet.

Personally, I'm gonna go with number 2 because that's how our world works today. People getting shut up by the big wigs and nothing gets solved. Maybe Dan can convince Jim Carrey to make a third Ace Ventura with the money and that way we all benefit.

Yankees Fan Doing It Big Clapping for Robinson Cano with Half a Sandwich In his Mouth

A lot of questions popped in my head after seeing this guy. Where at a ballpark can you get just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Did he make it at home? Did he smuggle it in his gooch to get past security? Out of all ballpark foods, you went with a white bread sandwich?

Get it together Yankees fans. Between the suits that sit in the first forty rows of Yankee Stadium with the huge leather seats and the random crackheads in the balconies, I'd say that Yankee Stadium is the worst place ever. Not to mention its in the Bronx for Christ's sakes. Oh, and the dimensions of the outfield are like 300 ft all the way around so that pitchers get lit up and Cano, Granderson, Teixiera and old man Soriano can boost their stats.

Brad Paisley Faced the Westboro Baptist Loonies

"Westboro Baptist Selfie!! Or west-Burro(ass) selfie. Hopefully they can hear the show out here. We'll play loud."

These wierdos got torched by Brad and didn't even know it. They were smiling like they won the SuperBowl and Brad was actually just making fun of em the whole time. Unreal how the Westboro freaks think they're doing God's work but are actually one ill timed protest from getting shot up.

Fuckin' squids.

Post by Brad Paisley.

Charlie Whitehurst Lost An Arm Wrestling Match With a Punter For His Number 6

Can't be anything more embarrassing than losing an arm wrestling competition against a punter. The only competition you're allowed to lose against a punter is a kicking competition. I would've never let anyone know that this was the real reason for losing the number on his jersey (which he's had since high school). 

Poor Charlie Whitehurst. Officially the most emasculated man in NFL history.

Dad of the Year Award Goes to This Guy

Fuck Frozen, gimme some IGGY AZ.

You know this Dad won infinity cool points with his daughter and that's really all that matters. Most guys are secretly hating their daughters for not being dudes. But this dad has the complete opposite point of view.

Actually, this dad is definitely in love with some big ol' Iggy Az booty. I know I am.

Huminahuminahumina....

Ask A Pink Hat

BOSTON (CBS) – Adolfo was outside of Fenway Park recently and interviewed a female fan who has been a Red Sox fan since birth.

Born in 1982, but just 22-year-old, this Boston diehard was asked a number of questions by Adolfo to test the knowledge of her favorite team.

Let’s see how she did.

The questions were:

- How many players are in a batting lineup?

- How many championships have the Red Sox won in the last 10 years?

- What do you call the large patch of grass where the outfielders stand?

- What is the name of the Red Sox mascot?

- What is a rubber match?

Things then took a turn and Adolfo segued into the fill-in-the-blank portion of the quiz:

- Shane _________

- Koji __________

There's an audio clip only available on the link RIGHT HERE . Scroll to the bottom of the article, click on the audio file and fast forward to about the U in Toucher and Rich.

This is a segment that's done on Toucher and Rich, called "Ask a Pink Hat", that has a reporter ask random girls with pink hats walking around Fenway questions about baseball and the Red Sox.

Incredible how stupid some girls are. This girl thought that the Sox won 7 titles in the last 10 years and doesn't know what the large patch of grass that the outfielders stand is called.

Levi's CEO Says You Should Never Wash Your Jeans

Mashable - Great day for laundry haters; bad day for germophobes.

The CEO of Levi Strauss & Co., Chip Bergh, discussed fashion and sustainability at Fortune's Brainstorm Green conference on Tuesday, claiming that jeans do not need to be washed; the pair he donned during the conference, he said, had "yet to see a washing machine" in the past year.

And who are we to doubt the messiah of boot cut? After all, Tuesday marks the 141st birthday of Levi's 501 jeans.

"We are the ultimate in sustainable apparel," Bergh said. "If you buy [our jeans] they will last a lot longer than most people's waistlines will."

Yeah, I'm kinda grossed out. I definitely wash jeans and will continue to do so. Nothing worse than smelly/itchy two week old jeans. I mean obviously it's gonna fit like a glove, but I'm pretty sure every article of clothing has to be washed.

I'd put $20 on the CEO of Levi's dying from some sort of bacteria that he picked up on his year old dirty jeans. Just the thought alone of not washing my jeans makes me itchy.

I really hope the girl in the ad picture has some big boobs because that ass is flat out disappointing. #punny

January Jones is Hot

Started watching Mad Men and it's an okay series. The only reason I actually watch it is because of January Jones up here. First, I'd like to say that January Jones is a total smoke name. Just can't see a fat chick being named January.

Whenever a hot girl is on Barstool and the comment section is open, they usually leave comments like, "I'd crawl through razor wire and lick a turd just for her used panties." or this one that was just posted today, "Is it gay to suck her dad off just to taste the recipe?" Not to say that I'd do the second one because that's just disturbing, but the first one sounds okay. JK guys haha, or am I?

(I'm not JK)

Mexico World Cup Coach Bans Sex

Mexico coach Miguel Herrera has banned his players from having sex during the World Cup: "We're not going to a party." (via @REFORMACOM)
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) May 21, 2014

Probably banned it because he looks like this:

Aaaaaand just like that Mexico's chances of winning a game at the World Cup are gone. Not only are they in a group with the host country, Brazil: they have to play against fast as fuck Cameroonians and Croatians. Try doing that with blue balls full of pent up rage.

So yeah, might as well just not even bother to show. If you can't have sex, what's the point of doing anything really? If I was the coach, I'd tell my players to have as much sex as they can, just to get the stress out.

What was the first thing every U-10 coach said to their players? "The important thing here is that you're having fun!" It appears that Miguel missed that portion of the coaching curriculum and went straight to banning sex. Shame on you.

Live look at Mexico:

P.S. Fuck cats but this is one cat I can drink with.

Seth Rogen and Snoop Roll A Cross Joint

Well this made my day. Seth Rogen doin' the damn thing with Snoop. I'd love to be in a "That 70's Show" smoking circle with these two guys and Mila Kunis. That's my ideal scenario.

Never Forget:

And the DIY video:

EA Sports UFC Trailer is the Most Realistic Video Game I've Seen

Felt like I was watching this on TV. The details of the tattoos, Bruce Buffer, and the subtle drops of blood on the mat push this game over the top. Anyone who likes UFC fighting will LOVE this game.

If the people who concentrated all this time to create this material could make this game this realistic, why haven't we found a way to live on Mars yet? Yeah, science!

Cricket Highlights > Softball Highlights > Baseball Highlights

Holy shit. I don't know anything about cricket but I know that this was a sick grab. Apparently the ground outside the boundary line is lava and you can't catch a ball out there, but if you throw it back in it counts or something. Whatever it was, the Indian people loved it.

Three extra notes:

1.) I literally thought that this guy was Yasiel Puig. Killer Oakley's and all blue uniform plus he's black and has massive earrings. Dead ringer.

2.) Apparently you can wear awesome cowboy/musketeer hats in cricket and I love it. Looks like a complete moron but at least he's rocking it. 

 3.) Just kidding about cricket highlights being better than softball highlights. You can't beat the raw talent in collegiate softball:

Softball Highlights > Baseball Highlights

SMOKED.

Can't say I've ever seen a funnier/worse attempt at catching a ball. Routine fly ball combined with horrible hand eye coordination equals a face full of padding and a severe concussion. This girl was definitely out for the rest of the season and possibly life after making national TV. I will say that this highlight beats every single baseball highlight they play on SportsCenter that looks identical to every other baseball highlight. Once you 've seen one, you've seen them all.

Man In Providence Leaves a Bar and Then Realizes He Was Shot

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP)— A Rhode Island man has told police he was leaving a bar when he noticed he’d been shot.

Police tell the Providence Journal (http://bit.ly/1lAWSlQ ) that 22-year-old Hector Aguayofuentes, of Providence, was shot in the leg early Saturday.

He tells police he was leaving the bar with a friend shortly after 1 a.m. Saturday when they both noticed he was bleeding.

They went to Hernandez’s house but were unable to stop the bleeding. He was eventually taken to a hospital, and police were notified.

Police say Aguayofuentes hasn’t provided any other details or explained how he might have been shot.

I posted a picture of Cheddar Bob because that's the only way you get shot and don't want to tell anyone how it happened. It's the only logical explanation to Hector suddenly "realizing" he got shot. He shot himself in the leg like Plaxico and when someone else noticed blood, he panicked and was like, "I'm SHOT!"

The fact they went to a Hernandez's house after casts more suspicion on this case. Must be a relative of Aaron's if he's dumb enough to not know how he just got hit with a bullet in a bar.

When his buddy said he was bleeding this must have been Hector's reaction:

But then again probably not since Caddyshack is the whitest movie ever and the whitest thing Hector has ever done is watch a hockey game by accident flipping through channels.

Brad Pitt and Matthew McConaughey Were Neighbors in NOLA This Weekend

And obviously they tossed each other a beer, cuz that's what bros do. What a lifestyle these guys live.

"Yo, look it's Brad Pitt!"

"Hi, I'm Brad Pitt!"

"You killed the Oscars this year bro."

"You wanna beer?"

"Heads up, bitch!"

"Gawtdang it Drew, this beer is delicious."

Jenny Dell Ruined Every Girl's Day at Rockland Junior Prom

NO CONTEST. Jenny Dell absolutely mauled the competition and simultaneously made every chick looking for attention hate her. Prom for girls is like the biggest event and competition of the year. It's their pageant. It's the Miss America of high schools. Girls with ugly dresses never make it the whole night without crying in the bathroom. The Prom Queen lives in memory forever and gets all the jocks. 

Welp, Jenny showed up and ruined every single girls chance to shine. She's skinnier than a 16 year old girl which is pretty insane, and she has the poise of a goddess. BTW, this kid has ruined all his chances at making the girls at his school like him. He made the prom about him and Jenny Dell, and not about the sacred competition. At least college is a couple years away and he can say that he went to prom with Jenny Dell. The freshmen girls will be throwing themselves at Killa Cam here.

Couple of exclusive pics from the Prom:

Yeah I'd have a raging boner all night if I went to prom with Jenny Dell. I'd 100% wear compression shorts, and even then...

P.S. Let's hop in the time machine real quick:

Fuckin' killed it at my senior prom. Don Draper status. The hair, the tux, the smile. All 10's.

h/t to Greg for the pics